The phrase “jerk off” is a widely recognized slang term referring to male masturbation.
While it’s commonly used in informal settings, there are plenty of other ways to say “jerk off”, ranging from playful and humorous to crude or euphemistic.
Whether you’re looking for funny slang, polite alternatives, or explicit expressions, this list will expand your vocabulary.
In this post, we’ll explore 21 different ways to say “jerk off”, offering definitions, descriptions, and usage examples.
Whether you want to diversify your slang or simply understand various terms, you’ll find this guide useful and entertaining!
21 Other Ways to Say “Jerk Off”
- Rub one out
- Choke the chicken
- Beat the meat
- Spank the monkey
- Tug the rope
- Stroke the snake
- Jack it
- Wank
- Flog the dolphin
- Polish the rocket
- Slap the salami
- Shake hands with the milkman
- Pull the pud
- Milk the lizard
- Jizzercise
- Hand party
- Five-finger shuffle
- Wax the carrot
- Play the skin flute
- Pump the python
- Fiddle the flesh flute
1. Rub One Out
Definition: A casual and widely used phrase for male masturbation.
Description: This phrase implies quickly relieving oneself through masturbation, often to reduce stress or tension.
Usage Examples:
- “I needed to relax, so I just rubbed one out before bed.”
- “He disappeared into his room for ten minutes—probably rubbing one out.”
2. Choke the Chicken
Definition: A humorous euphemism for male masturbation.
Description: This phrase likens the act to grabbing and shaking a chicken—a playful and vivid way to describe it.
Usage Examples:
- “Stop watching those videos unless you plan to choke the chicken later!”
- “He got caught choking the chicken when his roommate walked in.”
3. Beat the Meat
Definition: A crude and direct way of saying “jerk off.”
Description: This phrase is widely recognized and refers to the rhythmic motion involved in masturbation.
Usage Examples:
- “I’ve got nothing to do, might as well beat the meat.”
- “He was in the bathroom for too long—definitely beating the meat.”
4. Spank the Monkey
Definition: A playful and creative phrase for masturbation.
Description: This term is humorous, comparing the act to spanking a small animal, adding a comical twist.
Usage Examples:
- “No shame in spanking the monkey every now and then.”
- “She walked in while he was spanking the monkey—awkward!”
5. Tug the Rope
Definition: A simple phrase referring to the motion of masturbation.
Description: This term focuses on the pulling or tugging motion, making it an easy-to-understand slang expression.
Usage Examples:
- “I had some free time, so I decided to tug the rope.”
- “He went to the bathroom to tug the rope before his date.”
6. Stroke the Snake
Definition: A euphemism comparing male masturbation to stroking a snake.
Description: The “snake” represents the male anatomy, and the phrase humorously describes the action involved.
Usage Examples:
- “He was in his room stroking the snake all morning.”
- “Nothing wrong with stroking the snake for a little stress relief.”
7. Jack It
Definition: A short, straightforward way to say “jerk off.”
Description: Common in slang, this phrase is quick and to the point.
Usage Examples:
- “I need five minutes to jack it before we leave.”
- “He admitted to jacking it at least twice a day.”
8. Wank
Definition: A British slang term for masturbation.
Description: This is one of the most common alternatives to “jerk off,” especially in UK English.
Usage Examples:
- “He always takes a long shower—probably having a wank.”
- “Stop talking about it and just go wank already!”
9. Flog the Dolphin
Definition: A humorous phrase for masturbation.
Description: This odd but funny term paints an image of hitting or “flogging” a dolphin—a bizarre metaphor.
Usage Examples:
- “He locked the door so he could flog the dolphin in peace.”
- “I walked in on him flogging the dolphin—worst day ever!”
10. Polish the Rocket
Definition: A lighthearted way of saying “jerk off.”
Description: This phrase compares male masturbation to polishing a shiny object, adding a comedic twist.
Usage Examples:
- “He spent too much time in his room, probably polishing the rocket.”
- “Late-night movies and polishing the rocket go hand in hand.”
11. Slap the Salami
Definition: A humorous phrase that compares masturbation to slapping a cured meat product.
Description: This term is commonly used in comedic settings and vividly describes the act in a playful way.
Usage Examples:
- “I’ve got nothing better to do, might as well slap the salami.”
- “He got caught slapping the salami when his mom walked in—yikes!”
12. Shake Hands with the Milkman
Definition: A quirky, old-fashioned slang phrase for masturbation.
Description: This phrase humorously suggests an imaginary interaction with a milkman, referencing the rhythmic hand motion involved.
Usage Examples:
- “I heard weird noises from his room—I bet he was shaking hands with the milkman.”
- “Before bed, I like to shake hands with the milkman to relax.”
13. Pull the Pud
Definition: A British slang term meaning to masturbate.
Description: “Pud” is a playful way to reference male anatomy, and the “pulling” action describes the act itself.
Usage Examples:
- “He was embarrassed to admit that he pulls the pud daily.”
- “Instead of studying, he just pulled the pud all afternoon.”
14. Milk the Lizard
Definition: A crude but funny phrase for masturbation.
Description: This expression compares the act to milking a lizard, referencing fluid release in a comical way.
Usage Examples:
- “He disappeared for an hour—probably milking the lizard.”
- “After a stressful day, he needed to milk the lizard before sleeping.”
15. Jizzercise
Definition: A mix of “jizz” and “exercise,” meaning to masturbate as a form of physical activity.
Description: This term adds humor by suggesting that masturbation can be considered a workout.
Usage Examples:
- “I didn’t go to the gym today, but I got my jizzercise in.”
- “Who needs cardio when you can just jizzercise?”
16. Hand Party
Definition: A lighthearted way to refer to solo pleasure.
Description: This phrase implies having fun alone—with one’s hand as the only guest.
Usage Examples:
- “He’s late because he was busy having a hand party.”
- “Friday nights are for hand parties and Netflix.”
17. Five-Finger Shuffle
Definition: A creative slang term that refers to using five fingers in a rhythmic motion.
Description: This phrase highlights the hand movement involved in masturbation while making it sound like a dance move.
Usage Examples:
- “He left the party early to go home and do the five-finger shuffle.”
- “Late nights and the five-finger shuffle go hand in hand.”
18. Wax the Carrot
Definition: A playful euphemism for masturbation.
Description: The phrase compares the act to polishing a vegetable, with an obvious nod to the male anatomy.
Usage Examples:
- “If you keep watching that, you’ll have to wax the carrot.”
- “He stayed home to wax the carrot instead of going out.”
19. Play the Skin Flute
Definition: A crude but funny phrase describing masturbation as “playing an instrument.”
Description: This phrase compares the male anatomy to a flute, implying rhythmic movements like a musician playing.
Usage Examples:
- “He locked his door to play the skin flute in private.”
- “I knew he was playing the skin flute when he didn’t answer his phone.”
20. Pump the Python
Definition: A bold way to describe masturbation with a snake-related metaphor.
Description: Similar to “stroke the snake,” this phrase emphasizes the up-and-down pumping motion.
Usage Examples:
- “He was alone all weekend, probably pumping the python.”
- “Nothing wrong with a little python pumping now and then.”
21. Fiddle the Flesh Flute
Definition: A creative way to describe masturbation as playing a musical instrument.
Description: Like “play the skin flute,” this phrase adds humor by making it sound like an artistic endeavor.
Usage Examples:
- “He went to bed early, probably to fiddle the flesh flute.”
- “I walked in on him fiddling the flesh flute—never making that mistake again!”
Conclusion:
Looking for hilarious ways to say “jerk off”?
You’re in the right place! From “shaking hands with the milkman” to “giving yourself a standing ovation,” the possibilities are endless.
Whether you want to add some humor to your conversations or just need a creative way to avoid saying it outright, these playful phrases have got you covered.
So, the next time someone needs a laugh, drop one of these gems and watch the reactions roll in. Keep it classy—or not!
